Funeral etiquette is not something most of us think about. In some cases, you may not have attended a funeral in years—or ever. For these reasons, our funeral directors at Roper & Sons in Lincoln thought it would be helpful to review a few basic etiquette guidelines for attending a visitation and service.
1. Be Mindful of the Family’s Time
A visitation is an opportunity to offer condolences, share a memory, and let the family know you’re thinking of them. If the line is long, a brief heartfelt message and a comforting hug can be very meaningful.
Keep in mind that the family has been navigating several long and emotional days, with the funeral service still to come. If you want to share more stories about their loved one, write them in a sympathy card or call them a few weeks after the service.
2. Come Dressed for the Funeral
When it comes to what to wear to a funeral, the goal is to dress respectfully and avoid drawing attention to yourself. At most services, dark, muted, and conservative clothing is generally a safe choice.
For Men:
- A dark suit with white or light-colored dress shirt and a simple tie
- Clean polished shoes
- Dark pants with a collared shirt
For Women:
- A knee-length, midi, or maxi dress, skirt and blouse, or pantsuit in neutral colors
- Comfortable shoes such as flats or low heels
- Simple jewelry and makeup
We also suggest avoiding jeans, shorts, athletic wear, flip-flops, and graphic T-shirts.
One additional note: funeral attire varies by culture and religion. Some traditions ask attendees to wear white, bright colors, or even the favorite color of the person who passed away as a celebration of their life. If the family has requested a specific dress code, it’s best to follow their wishes.
3. Always Arrive Early
No one wants to be the person who arrives late to a funeral. Aside from feeling awkward, it takes away from the service that is already in progress. What’s more, it’s disrespectful to the grieving family and others in attendance.
One way to ensure you arrive early is to map out your drive time. Today’s technology provides apps for most devices that can give you the best route to take, alert you to any traffic delays, and provide an ETA so you know exactly when to leave home.
4. Silence Your Phone
Cell phones are a part of everyday life, but during a funeral, it’s important to let them take a back seat. Keeping your phone out of sight is a simple way to show respect for the person being remembered and to be fully present for their loved ones.
Before you arrive, silence your phone or turn it off completely. During the service, avoid texting, checking social media, or reading emails. The glow of a screen can be distracting to others. If you’re expecting an urgent call, quietly step outside before answering.
It’s also best to skip taking photos or videos unless the family has specifically invited guests to do so. If you’d like to share a tribute on social media, consider waiting until after the service and be mindful of the family’s wishes.
5. Stay Informed
Today, many families use obituary pages, funeral home websites, social media, or church announcements to share service details, parking information, memorial donation options, and livestream links
Roper & Sons has long embraced technology to help families stay connected. In fact, Roper & Sons was the first funeral home in the Lincoln area to offer funeral live streaming, allowing loved ones who can’t attend in person to still participate in honoring and celebrating a life.
Attending a funeral is one of the most meaningful ways to honor a life and support those who are grieving. By showing up with kindness, respect, and compassion, you help create a comforting presence that families will remember long after the service has ended.